Contemplating death

Death is eminent, an inescapable fact. A moment when a last breath leaves the body and frees the soul. Will that last breath be one of peace or a struggle clinging still on a hope for one more breath?  Will death be a redeemer or an untimely guest?

Death has passed me by many times, who am I to complain when my turn comes. Nobody is spared from the touch of death. Death is the great equaliser for the rich, the poor, the good and the bad. If it was possible to be spared from death it would have been a curse rather than blessing. The soul needs death to evolve its individuality and bloom fully in its purpose of glory.

On that last moment I will see my life as a whole for a brief instance. Gone will time be and the whole of life will be revealed. I hope then to see my purpose in a new light. There will no longer be the illusion of the material world to veil the truth or obscure understanding. The spiritual world will embrace me as a friend, newly born into its fold. It will be ready to initiate me into the next phase of evolution.

If death comes with pain or shock to rip my soul from its outer shell. I hope it will be a brief wait. If I must suffer then my hope will be that death will not be unkind to me for too long. My plea into the Cosmic is that I live a life that attracts a peaceful death… One unafraid to breath that last breath and free the soul gently from its physical cage. I pray for a death invited by a last smile and peaceful embrace.

I might have time to ponder this life and what I have done with the life I had. What legacy do I leave behind was always a question on my mind. The answer was seldom satisfactory. I have learned much and my gain was mostly selfish in comparison to that which I manage to impart to others. I hope that in death I will not have only regrets of things undone but that I can look back and say: “Life was good”.  I can say that I acted with courage when I ventured out to start my own business, despite its failure after ten years. I can say I was on top of my game when a project of mine won international recognition, yet I did not make the impact I have set to make. I can reflect on my children but their achievement, I can not claim as mine. I can only say I did my best with the insights I had, I take responsibility for each decision that leads to success and failure. My access to advise from a wise sage I lacked but blessings I can count. The Cosmic was graceful towards me and gave me plentiful.

I am grateful for the spiritual search that was ever in my heart. It was the seed and cause for many of my adventures and experience of life. If I had a choice to redo this life I would like to walk the same path … even those small ones that led to a dead end. My personal spiritual quest is what made my life worth living. The real change that happened is not the one I caused in the world… but that change that took place within me.  I am a different person from the one that was born because of the spiritual quest that lead me along. Syncronicity brought me in contact with influences that I will ever be grateful for, for it helped me to define my essence.

If I knew death to be close and the Reaper gave me three wishes before the final blow then this is my wish. First to have the time to speak to all I love and tell them my appreciation for the meaning they brought to my life. Second for one last time to marvel at nature in its most purest form whether it is a wave chrusing on the beach or a waterfall deep inside a mountain. Lastlely that I will be able to meditate and turn within, in the silence of my awareness to just BE ME.