Walking on the dark side.

I have walked this life and learned many lessons. I learned to be independent so that I may know my vulnerabilities. I vowed to always learn yet it only showed me my lack of true wisdom. In trying to make a net positive contribution I discovered my hand to be empty as I grasp in thin air.

Before you think I am lost in a swamp of cynicism, I would like to refute that vehemently. From a karmic perspective my life is one that taught me much. I have learned my need express from an early age to be seen and valued. I stand surprised how such a need attached it to me. The shackles of Karma was slow to dissolve from my life. I am grateful for the depths I had to traverse to find my way through this life’s maze. I purges from a wizard learning spells to becoming a mage who create spells.

I learned to straighten my back and stand under any burden. I know my trials are far from over but I had been equipped with the tools, discipline and skills to face the tests that stand before me and the threshold I aim to cross. More than ever I have liberation in the cross hair’s of my son.

I finally emerged from the valley of selfhood as I faced my shadows. I comprehend with insight my dark side. For the first time I am more whole than ever in my limited perspective of being. The sun has set and I fear no longer the darkness. Man can no longer hurt me and fate can no longer pour calamity into my lap.

I know this discourse will sound too the uninitiated like madness, the murmuring of inanity. Maybe I do stand on the edge of certainty while staring blankly into a world of disillusionment. It is no loss and I am not ashamed that I reached this stepping stone after a long journey. Life was and is his to me. The masters of the universe guided my steps leading me to where I can be more useful. Whether my destiny is to be useful in this life or just a preparation for a next I don’t know. For now in the mirror of my own miserable state I am more confident than ever that I have a destiny worth pursuing.