How to deal with destructive and impulsive behaviour?

There is a classic quotation where Marcus Aurelius reminds himself in the beginning of the day of the types of behaviors that he will have to deal with during the day. You have already concluded that the reactions or actions of other people are outside of your control. One way to deal with it is to simply prepare yourself for those people by expecting those type of behaviors and return yourself to what is in your control. You must use your own reason to think about alternative ways to deal with such behaviors in terms of your reaction to them. You will soon discover that reacting emotionally towards impulsive or destructive behaviors or will not assist you at all to deal with them. Philosophy begins with fellow-kindness which means a Stoic have a deep respect for other people irrespective their behavior and always address them with respect; never in a derogatory or insulting manner. Secondly let people know that they are responsible for their own actions so do not shift blame onto yourself for the actions of others. Within your control is to communicate with them with much clarity as possible how their behavior has a negative impact on their own life as well as that of others.

If your message is not heard, you can find new and creative ways to convey the same message to make it easier for other people to hear and accept. The key is that the Stoic is patient, working on himself to improve his communication and behavior rather than forcefully trying to change other people. So the Stoic exerts an influence through reason but do not attach to any outcome. If the message is heard then it it great but if it is rejected the stoic finds a new way of conveying the message. He continues to hone his own skills and interaction rather than focusing on whether the other person is right or wrong. Stoicism is not passive, it is persistent but that persistence is based on work on oneself. Stoics will also reason and ask you what makes the difference between your “own blood” and a stranger. If the same behavior in a stranger does not effect you but that of your “own blood” does then it means it is not the behavior that impacts on you but your reaction to the behavior and your reaction to the behavior is within your control. By adding that perspective to your awareness, it will give you a bit of distance so that you do not get caught up in the emotion itself so that you can deal with the issue with a more reasoned approach.

You can try to do the following: