I am finding my solace in the dark corners of my inner being. As much as I try I am again in that deep darkness where no topic seems to present itself for me to write about. I walk through the darkness and my lamp seems very dim. I can see only the next step, enough not to stumble but not enough to see where the road is leading. Yet, I am not afraid of the darkness. It is life to be surrounded by darkness when the light is not shining. Like the day the sun does not always shine and we have to be comfortable to at times walk in the dark. I ask my lamp why he is not shining as bright as ever and I do not get an answer. Maybe it is just an off day or the fuel is just low. I need to find the source that will fill up the lamp so that it can shine bright again. I might have to stray from the path I know so well and close the doors behind me. All that is familiar is in the past behind me, served me when I needed it but it is no longer mine to have nor my support. I have to walk alone. There is no wise sage with the answers whom I can hope to meet along the way that can give me insight into the path ahead. I am without a map, and without a compass, I might even be walking in circles when I have no reference point. I only know the strength within me, it is the only thing I can rely on. Maybe it is one of the lessons that must be learned in this life….to be able to be self confident, stand alone and find your own way. It is path of maturity that only the hermit will know. Maybe it is my initiation deeper into my own mystery. I sat and contemplated, I listened to the master within and I a no closer to an answer, a clear vision or plan of action. I need to understand what the lesson is that I need to know and learn. Has the edge of reason been reached? Maybe it is time to also call upon the heart to direct the way. I have a troubled relationship with my heart. Te heart does not judge and it flaunts logic and yet somehow it is excellent at staying the course and knowing what is right even when it is not logical. But I am also aware that neither heart or mind is the inner strength for the inner strength comes from will and there is no organ through which will is expressed. Will is the function of mind and the domain of the knower for the knower knows above all Divine Will. The knower wills our experience for us to become adept in the darkness. The knower is the source of the light that can fuel again the lamp to light up the darkness.
Category Archives: Life
The purpose of reincarnation
I will style myself to the practice of the Stoic philosophers by taking one notion and expanding on that notion specifically. My thoughts were dwelling around the theme of reincarnation this morning. Reincarnation is the idea that we continue our spiritual evolution of the triune self by connecting with a doer within the physical domain. My purpose is not to argue the case for reincarnation but accept it as a departure point and argue for a logical reason behind the concept of reincarnation.
Within the physical body we get an amalgamation of all the planes of existence and the conditions for our spiritual evolution. Many traditions with a view of reincarnation see the soul as perfect. I maintain that if the soul was perfect then there would have been no need for any spiritual evolution. The soul merges into the physical plane for a reason…one of the distinct results of this emergence is a sense of identity or self. In fact we feel isolated and often alone within the confinement of the body as if it is some type of prison. The soul in its own state does not have that type of sense of unity…it experience itself only as part of the universal soul. As a result my logical, given acceptance of the presumptions, is that the soul is developing identity where the all is ALL and the ALL is within the all of the soul. Contradictory to other beliefs I have always been objecting to the idea of a blissful re-emergence of the soul into the universal soul like a drop of water that falls into the ocean and simply disperse into an identityless form of existence.
My logic holds that we grow in being or inner togetherness. It is a process where the universal becomes the personal and the personal is integrated into universal without losing its own identity. That is why we walk a distinct individual path through life…we can never share our experience fully with other human beings. The soul is isolated in context of the body with the purpose of developing a healthy sense of identity. In the body that identity might be express in negative terms like greed, ambition or a search for fame…or any other desire that is selfishly oriented. That however is not in harmony with spiritual law and usually will result in negative experiences in the physical world. Reflecting on those experiences teaches the soul the value of its unity and to become whole in itself and to become part of the Whole. Reintegration is not about reintegrating with the Universal soul through some abstract fusion but rather through finding its own unity within the universal soul where consciousness can expand to even more refined levels of awareness.
I thought that our body is much like clothing that we decided to get rid of in order to wear new clothes. We soon forget the old clothes. Why should we remember our old bodies and experiences? Rather we should carry forward the quality of our being. It is the one who wear the clothes that is of more importance in terms of continuity rather than the clothes itself. Just looking over our life time we might remember here and there a piece of clothing that was really special but most is forgotten and of no concern for us anymore. It is the clothes we wear today that is of concern for we want to know if today’s clothes will give us the warmth and protection we need. The clothes does not evolve…it is the wearer that evolves in the wearer’s mind where the concept of clothes are refined.
Energy management
A life worth living is a life worth reflecting on. Having reflected on my past year, I realized that I have done far less in my exploration of poetry and art in the last year than what I aimed to do. I hope that I can be able to do everything I set for myself to do in this coming year. I hope sincerely that I will have the energy to act on all the different level of being. I have set objectives on a physical, mental, psychic and spiritual level. In accord with my life philosophy I am not pushing for a singular focused objective but rather to live a well-rounded life that consider all spheres of life and where personal life and engagement with others are balanced. Time and energy are the two constraints that must be optimally managed. I have not always managed to keep this balance. There is always some level of sacrifice that needs to be made. Often when one’s energy is low the strongest intent can be wasted. The starting point is healthy living for it is within the body that we gain the benefit of the energy we need to progress. Basic things like diet, drinking water and proper sleep is always key to the success of holistic living. We deny these only to our detriment and no lifestyle that does not consider these can be sustainable. But energy is more than just the physical, a large portion of our energy comes from our thinking. It is easy to allow energy to waste away through bad thinking habits that remain caught up in negative cycles or that lacks enthusiasm. I focused on the virtue of enthusiasm last week and the one thing I realised again that when we are interested in what we do, when we are enthused we have more energy. So even if our body is fit and well looked after we loose energy through our thinking processes. A core focus for me this year will be to conserve energy through right thinking rather than entertain thought processes that leak energy. We must understand the body and its functioning as the foundation or fountain of our energy and internal resources … our other faculties does not generate energy but can either be a leak or the result of the application of energy. Following alchemical principles we can not even stop at our mental processes. We can also loose energy through our psychic body, especially if we allow our emotional self free reign unchecked by reason and completeness of joy. Our energy management is as important, if not more important, than time management. So often people focus on goals and objectives but fail in managing there energy and I am willing to waiver a stiff bet that the reason people fail is not a lack of intent but rather a lack of energy. For many that do not live in accord to the basic requirements for a healthy body do not generate the right energy while others that do so allow energy to be wasted through leakage. The objective of energy management will be twofold in purpose. Firstly to generate energy and secondary to ensure the proper conditions to optimally use the energy created and continually refine our energy resources to finer substance. The higher we can lift the energy by purifying it the more potent that energy becomes. Energy on a physical level are compressed to a higher level and more pure energy on a mental plane and the even concentrated further on the psychic plane. Thus properly managed energy increases the work that can be done with that energy. The same energy on the physical level can not accomplish what can be achieved when it is concentrated on a mental level. In the past years I have learned much about energy generation and conservation but this year my aim and focus will be on the refinement of my energy for higher order work.
Heritage day contemplation
We had our heritage day as an official holiday in South Africa. My heritage day insight was that on 13 October 1983, on my 18th birthday, 30 years ago, the firs cellular call was made. Since then the world as we know it was totally revolutionized. In my contemplation about what heritage day means to me, my final thought conclusion was that what was in the past is not as important as the legacy we leave to future generations today. I watched a film of how the trend changed in the 80’s from saving money and living with thrift to a consumer orientation based on spending. I wish I was more instrumental in leaving a legacy for the next seven generations to come. Such an ideal might seem implausible but it is such an ideal that gives purpose in life and continue to motivate me to live life fully.
I read a discourse tonight at our Pronaos about how a dependency on external conditions can limit us from achieving what we set out to achieve. A mystic delves continuously into his/her inner creativity to address daily challenges in a practical way. The techniques we learn are practical means that equip us to deal more efficiently and effectively with challenges. We should continually bring our locus of control within and reduce our dependency on external conditions. I know I have some tough challenges in my future and that I will have to practice what I preach. Sometimes walking the righteous way is not the easy way. When we face the real issues that we build character even if it means becoming the rejected stone.
Tonight I have a resolve to work with greater motivation to make a difference in life as long as I have the opportunity and means to do so.
Related articles
- Heritage. (bloggsymalone.wordpress.com)
- Heritage day (calculatorsa.wordpress.com)
- Happy Heritage Day, South-Africa (natashastander.wordpress.com)
Eulogy: Jurgens Johannes Pieterse
Jurgens Johannes Pieterse was my father, he was married with Susanna Magaretha and he has two daughters Tersia and Beredina. My father’s life left a rich legacy to all that will continue to inspire. Jurgens Johannes Pieterse was a craftsman, a family man and a dependable husband.
Born on on 20 August 1938, just after the great depression of 1930, my father’s stories of his childhood recalled days when he, as a young boy, went out to look after cattle. Herding them around the town where he lived for long distances. Due to poverty, the early death of his father and difficult political circumstance he was obliged to leave school at the age of 16 to help support his family. These years of struggle provided a foundation for a life that would be based on hard work. Work was a way to independence and the ability to provide for your loved ones. Industriousness was a virtue that characterized my father’s life and which left a permanent imprint on us as children. But for my father it was not hard work – for him it was a love to produce something of quality. He qualified himself as a craftsman, a tool maker, early in his life. Hard work was insufficient for my dad, he focused on delivering quality. His ability to work with precision, measured in microns, and conceptualize an end product made him a type of miracle worker with steel. There was a general believe that my father was able to make anything he wanted from steel. The testimony to my father’s workmanship is that his services were in demand until the day of his death. He transformed himself over a life time from a boy herding cattle to a successful business man with his own business.
I am certain my father has already reported for duty at the gates of heaven with a oil can ready to oil the heavenly gates so that they work a little bit smoother. It is people like my father that found joy in his work that made heaven wherever he was.
My father’s work environment was always kept pristine, ordered and organized. He was proud of his achievements. He loved his cars and nurtured them with great personal care. He improved on his houses and made it a better habitat for his family. Most importantly for my father was that he did not die poor but that he had accumulated funds of money in his bank to leave to my mother. It was not a matter of having money to spend but about reaching the end of his life not as a poor man. Poverty was my father’s worst fear and seeing his personal wealth grew was his comfort.
My earliest memory was that of my father smoking pipe. When my father went to work and forgot his pipe at home there was consternation in the house. He could not go a day without his pipe. But one day father decided to put the pipe and cigarettes aside and stop smoking. He never touched Tabaco ever again in his life. That is witness to the will power Jurgens had when he decided on something. I see daily how many people with good intention fail to stop the same addiction and then I realize why my father kept firmly on the course he set for himself. He was never somebody to give up. As his son I had to assist often in his workshop while he was working on a car or repairing something. Many times challenges frustrated him to the degree where he really got angry with desperation…but he never gave up. Somehow my father always made a plan, he always found a way and a solution. My father was a man of action and doing. He hated standing in any queue and never accepted bad service without reprimanding the guilty party. Wasting time was not for my dad…for life was something that must be lived.
The work ethic of my father never kept him from also being a family man. My earliest childhood memories are that of my father first as a deacon and later as an elder in the Dutch Reformed church. He never preached to us, as his children, but he always set the example through his commitment. He made sure that we attend church and Sunday school regularly and without fail. By doing so his example equipped us with a deep spiritual awareness that is visible in the conduct of all his children. Dad could also relax with his family. With regular intervals the tools and work clothes were set aside to take his family on a well-deserved caravan vacation. Doing this Jurgens left his children a treasure chest of good memories…times next to the sea, fishing competitions, racing pigeons are all images of a father that can also enjoy life with his family. Through everything he ensured that his children are equipped to stand their own ground in life with confidence.
My father was a good husband to my mother for 52 years. He was the provider of the house and ensured that my mother never had any lack; he always gave her his love and devotion and remained faithful throughout his life. I can recall a whole life time of seeing my parents holding hands confident in the security they had in each other’s life. That is probably the greatest legacy my father left his children.
My father was keenly aware of his politics, the economy and environment. His deeper thinking side he kept for private conversations. Few people saw the deeper thinking side of my father but I had the privilege of remembering several conversations when we were alone where I stood amazed by the depth of my father’s insights into life. His insight was evident in key life decisions he made in his life just at the right time, every time. I am sure that he knew the time to depart has come and that he chose his time to the best of his ability. He said to the pastor the day before his death: “I am not afraid” His only regret will be that he is leaving my mother behind to fend for herself. All that remains to be said is: “The work is done…Now my father can rest in peace”
I can never fully praise my father’s quality, wisdom and impact in our lives with a few short words. My hope is that with his death all who was touched by him will remember the unique impact his life had on them. My hope is that they will take the best from his life and make something of his life their own. By embracing my father’s virtues in our lives, my father’s legacy will continue to inspire people to be industrious, to be committed, to be faithful and above all to live life to its fullest.