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In my Zodiac journey I am traveling away from Aries with its boost of enthusiasm and enters the field of Taurus. I am a moon Taurus in my natal chart and have a specific interest in Taurus as a sign. So The next set of contem plations seem to revolve around money matters.

What are my anxieties and fears around money?

I am lucky to have a fairly good earning relative to the other people in my environment and always managed to live fairly comfortably. I had my measure of financial troubles and dilemmas to deal with in my life time. I know what it fea

l like to take back a car I have bought because I knew I can no longer afford the payments.  I do not see myself however as being good when it comes to financial management. I tend to get into debt by the strangest means and events.  With the car for example, it was in a time when the interests rates escalated sharply and was probably the worst escalation in my history. As another example is the losses I made in my business when a business partner and a client did not come to the party as agreed.  Before I knew it I was in unplanned debt.

I seldom make debt deliberately by buying things on debt. I have no clothing accounts or something similar and I honour the payment of services I utilise. I actually have an active aversion to make debt and would rather leave something than buy it by increasing my debt. I will encounter debt only when there is some crises like my car breaking down and I do not have the cash to repair it but need it to ge mobile again. My general philosophy is that debt is expensive and I am not rich enough to afford it. Actually I do not think anybody is rich enough to afford debt.

The pain of paying back debt is far bigger than the pleasure gained when you loan money to spend. I have not managed to build up a proper set of assets for my old age. Again it seems that there is always something that prevented me from building up the required assets.  I had the knowledge of what is needed but for some reason I seemed incapable of implementing an effective strategy. When my acumen for money management is evaluated in terms of provisioning for old age or building up assets I will not score very high. If I am evaluated in terms of living comfortably for the larger part of my life and spending my wealth well then that will rate high.

As long as I can keep up my earning, all is good. I think I have an underlying fear for the day I will be forced to retire by being incapable physically or mentally. I fear not being able to earn money in some way. I do not think I have the means to really look after myself for long.

Since there is very little I can do about it I have followed a rather stoic approach of simple acceptance that the day will come and that I will probably have to deal with it at that time in a continued virtuous manner. As a result I have reduced my view on longevity because I think once one can no longer earn an income the risk of death will increas sharply. I will be able to say I lived my life fully for I have lived life within my means optimally.  I work at developing my skills and maintain my health so that I have the ability to earn some income for as long as possible. I do not harbour the desire for the typical retirement scenario where you stop working. I want to be of service for as long as possible. I might want to change the way I earn money in the future and might need less but I do not have the dream of doing nothing. Retirement sounds to me like a last resort scenario where one is given over to boredom.

If I look honesty at myself, despite my stoic philosophy, my anxiety regarding money is to limit debt, prevent it from escalating and on the other side about not having security for my old age. Maintaining my ability to sustain an income is one of the underlying forces that influence my day to day behaviour.